All about my life — the ups, the downs, the in-betweens — and making sense of it all.
20 July 2008 at 8:41 pm · Filed under Family Planning
Having a baby means dealing with our own issues, some of which we may have gotten as infants. I had another small scare.
Last Saturday, during dinner at a resort, I was standing on a small metal footbridge, about 4 meters above a rushing stream. There are rocks and boulders immediately below it. I was saying goodbye on my phone when a guy walking towards me suddenly lurched and bumped me hard.
I lost my balance, but somehow my left foot replanted itself solidly before I could fall over the side railing on my left. I was first afraid, but the emotion quickly turned to fury. I wheeled around to face the offender. He himself was a bit angry, because he thought I bumped into him. The guy was reeking of beer, and that probably accounted for his misstep.
He suddenly saw my fury and my belly, and turned around and walked away hurriedly before I could shout at him and come after him. I really wanted to beat him up. He and his companions were sitting two tables behind us, and the rest saw what happened and were looking concernedly at me as I returned from the bridge and angrily told Daniel what happened.
Daniel was unaware of what happened, and at that moment it upset me more. Why isn’t he watching over me at every moment? Slowly, my anger dissipated and returned to fear and I burst into tears in the restaurant. I was having visions of falling over, landing on my belly because right now, that is the heaviest and densest part of my body, and so gravity would pull it down faster than the rest of me.
Fear-anger-fear. Like Yoda might say, Anger fear leads to. Hate anger leads to. The Dark Side hate leads to. It seems that a lot of my early fears are surfacing, especially in moments of distress.
I guess I have a lot more to work through before the baby is born so that none of these are projected onto the child, and I will not turn into a fearful mother like my own mom (and many Asian moms). I guess our overprotectiveness comes from these repressed fears.
5 July 2008 at 9:53 pm · Filed under Family Planning
I had a scare this week. I felt a dull pain for an hour down there, like I was about to get my period. It went away slowly, but not my fear of a miscarriage. I vaguely told Daniel that I was feeling some pain, and he thought that I was referring to the little muscle twinges I’ve been having around my lower belly area. He insisted that I go to the doctor to find out what is going on, and put my mind at ease if it is just normal muscle pain.
I felt this was a wise thing to do, but I was also afraid to go and find out that something indeed was wrong. At the doctor’s office, I broke down when I told him my symptoms. Dr. Sundhorn was very kind and reassured me right away that what I felt is probably a contraction (Braxton-Hicks). I was dumbfounded. Of course I knew what Braxton-Hicks contractions are, but I thought it would feel differently.
He says that they begin after the 12th week, and I had been feeling them then, usually lasting a few minutes, but didn’t associate them with the intense contractions that come in the 9th month. Apparently, these contractions will get more intense and more frequent as the due date nears.
After that, I was just crying from relief, and from the realization that the baby already means a lot to me.
21 June 2008 at 1:16 am · Filed under Family Planning
Wow, commuting really can take a lot out of a pregnant woman. I lost about a kilo (900 grams) from the previous monthly check up. The doctor said that since the first check up in February, my net gain has only been 200 grams, when the average is 2 kg. Not good, although he said it isn’t a problem yet.
It has always been hard for me to keep my weight on. But now, with the commute, I have been losing appetite, I can’t sleep well, and I get really irritable by the end of the week. I try to eat every hour or so, mostly fruit and nutritious sandwiches that Daniel prepares for me, and then milk in the mornings and evenings. But still, it seems it is not enough.
The bump has been growing in size, everything seems normal. Daniel is afraid that the baby is "eating" me up, because he noticed that only my breasts and belly are big; everything else is getting skinnier. So this month, I will try to keep eating no matter how I feel. And we will get a second apartment in Bangkok, even though our costs will go up to four times what we are spending now.
7 June 2008 at 8:31 pm · Filed under Family Planning
Am so pooped from commuting to/fro Bangkok for work. Plus, D & I had to go yesterday (Saturday) to meet an old friend from NL, and then went around Ari in the afternoon looking for apartments to rent. By the time we were back in the apartment in the afternoon, I was too tired to talk, I could feel my limbs shaking, I was congested, and overheated.
I have sensed myself changing, getting back into "urban mode." What is urban mode? First, make up and lotion all over to protect one’s skin from pollution. Second, filtering out all unwanted noise, light and people. This is the only way to survive the high density of stimulation. Unfortunately, I also end up losing some of my sense of taste, and I have little appetite. Third, I am becoming colder, bitchier. I am caring less and less for anyone outside my family. Fourth, I tend to notice shops and products more than before. Everything in a city is focused onto consumption: convenience stores, sidewalk informal economy, advertising on the streets and in the trains, and the fact that one cannot sit in one place for a long time if one is not going to pay for the use of that space, either as a horribly expensive coffee concoction in a cafe, or internet cafe, or entrance to something.
Yesterday, we spent for food (breakfast, lunch and snacks) the equivalent of what we would spend in a week in Pathumthani, one of Bangkok’s suburbs/peri-urban areas. Does that suck or what? And the food was not fresh, tasteless, covered in chemical coloring and preservatives and additives, and had its good energies microwaved out of it.
And for what? How is this move to this ugly, ugly, materialistic urban area a positive development for our organization and our social and spiritual selves?
22 May 2008 at 7:10 am · Filed under Family Planning
Well, it’s not a squid! And it isn’t indigestion. It has a nose, gotta be Daniel’s if it is actually VISIBLE at this stage. And it waved its hand while we were looking at it onscreen! Pretty cool. We asked not to be told the sex, and to omit it from the report so that the doctor and nurses don’t slip accidentally and reveal it to us.
And it’s just a single baby, not twins. Whew! For a while there, I was worried, coz I can feel the baby moving in two places at once. Musta been arms and legs.
Things are getting more interesting now!
6 May 2008 at 5:04 am · Filed under Current Affairs
Regie was a happy man. I met him briefly three times as one of
the members of a Technical Working Group for hydro-met disaster
mitigation in Dagupan City. He was energetic, and he was always
working hard to help the barangays in his city. He was a city official
in charge of waste management, and he knew this was important to reduce
vulnerability for flood disasters. He always gave me the impression of
devotion to helping people improve their lives. His life was short but
eventful. His wife died of cancer a few years ago, and he himself
already had a bypass. Last night, he passed away due to a heart attack
at age 40. With the way he tried to help as many as he could, those
forty years probably amounted to more than 70 years of a self-indulgent
life, than a career-oriented life, than an untried and untested life.
I’m only guessing at this, since I met him only a few times, but I’m
pretty good at sizing people up at the first handshake. So Regie,
wherever you are, Life well spent!
28 April 2008 at 2:02 am · Filed under Family Planning
We did it, we explained to the doctor that we do not want the second tetanus injection for myself, nor any of the injections for our baby when it is born. Some discussion ensued with the doctor showing us the guideline for the immunization schedule for babies. The doctor assured us that it is only a recommended guideline from WHO, not a legal requirement of Thailand. He also assured us that the hospital and its delivery and operating rooms are very sterile, so there is little risk that any tetanus bacteria can be found there. Thank goodness that he is reasonable.
26 March 2008 at 8:38 am · Filed under Family Planning
It was like a little drum, rapping a steady beat, 148 per minute.
whup-whup-whup-whup-whup-whup-whup-whup
"Father, come here!" the doctor sang out to Daniel.
It was a sure and steady rhythm, determined to make create its overture into the world.
No denying anymore, I am definitely pregnant.
We had our first dilemma today — tetanus toxoid. "It’s just procedure," the doctor assured us. Glances exchanged, eerie violin music playing in my mind, prelude to a health disaster later?
"Are you taking your folic acid?" doctor asked.
"Yes but not medicine. I am eating leafy green vegetables every day, lots of wheat bread, peanuts, bananas, anything with folic acid."
"We did some research on what food has folic acid," Daniel chimed.
Doctor tells us how Thailand has so many vegetables and fruits that has all the nutrition we need, but sadly, the Thai women just want to take iron pills. We told him we eat a lot of fruit every day, I have at least one coconut a day, and we eat brown rice at home. "Me too," he said, "every day!"
Harmony.
15 March 2008 at 11:52 pm · Filed under Humour
The
recent hurricanes and gasoline issues are proof of the existence of a
new chemical element. A major research institution has recently
announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science.
The
new element has been named Governmentium. Governmentium (Gv) Has one
neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant
deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312
particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert.
However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with
which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause
a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take over
four days to complete.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4
years; It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in
which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange
places. In fact, Governmentium’ s Mass will actually increase over
time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become
neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron
promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed
whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical
quantity is referred to as critical morass. When catalyzed with money,
Governmentium becomes Administratium - an element which radiates just
as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but
twice as many morons.
12 March 2008 at 10:06 pm · Filed under Travel
I got the following announcement from a forum for Filipinos in Thailand. It seems to be a sample of how white people are preferred over Filipinos. It is unfortunate that according to the posts in the forum, this is not new or unusual, and that some Filipinos actually accept the low pay and discrimination.
Kasintorn St. Peter School, a bilingual school has job opening for the start of next term, looking for a full-time teachers to teach in kindergarten and primary levels.
English Native or Non-native Teachers are required.
* Qualifications:
Category A:
o native speakers from UK, Canada, USA, New Zealand, Australia
o with bachelor’s degree, TESOL or TEFL certificate or with at least 2 years teaching experience in kindergarten or primary levels.
Category B:
o non-native speakers (German, French, Polish, Dutch and from Latin America)
o with a bachelor’s degree, TESOL or TEFL certificate or with at least 2 years teaching experience in kindergarten or primary levels.
**Salary: (Category A & B)
o Net monthly salary starts at 40,000 to 45,000 baht depending on your qualifications
o Full paid holiday for summer & extra course, will have two weeks paid holiday in October and two weeks paid holiday in April
o After 3 months probation period salary will be increase according to your performance.
Category C:
o Non-native speakers (Filipinos)
o Net monthly salary starts at 12,000 to 15,000 baht per month
o Plus housing allowance maximum of 3,000 baht monthly
o Full paid holiday for summer & extra course, will have two weeks paid holiday in October and two weeks paid holiday in April
o After 3 months probation period salary will be increase according to your performance.
o Age from 25 - 30 years old.
*Benefits: (Category A, B, & C )
o the school pays for work permit, visa and teachers license.
o minimum allowable six (6) days - sick leaves with pay and four (4) business leave days with pay
o free transportation if you prefer to live near the city (Pata/Pinklao area).
o free meal during breakfast and lunch.
o accidental insurance.
o work only Monday to Friday (8:00am - 5:00pm)
o Holidays: Saturday, Sunday, Public holidays, Christmas and New Year holidays
o have two weeks holiday in October and April.
*Responsbilities
o 20 -25 classroom hrs per week
o Curriculum development, lesson planning and some paper work associated with teaching are included in your responsibilities.
- Interested applicants please email your resume or c.v. with photo and your availability or if you have any inquiries regarding this job offer you can call us and look for Ms. Liza.
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