Newsweek had an article about why working mothers will never be able to balance time for family and work (click here to read it).  The author’s main idea was that we have unrealistic expectations of what a mother should be, expectations built into us by our culture or experience.  These expectations for Filipinos are usually a combination of one or two or all of the following: (1)  have a career; (2) love our husbands well so that they don’t stray; (3) raise our children to be intelligent AND talented AND driven AND good; (4) keep a good household.

The article is humorous, and I recommend it to other working mothers who would like to know how others view the situation.  I realized when I was about 24 that I had an unrealistic expectation of my mother that she should be perfect.  I realized truly that she is as human as I am, entitled to her fears and faults.  From that moment, I let go of most of my annoyance.  Later, I realized that I also freed myself from a lot of angst over whether or not I was womanly enough.

I believe that we either are or are not.  I am a non-smoker.  I am a chocoholic.  I am Filipino.  If St. Augustine wants us to realize we are the God within, the author is similarly telling women to be the mother within.

I don’t feel that my situation is one of imbalance because I  prioritize my baby in all of my free time.  It’s not a difficult choice because he is awake from 6 AM to 730 PM, with naps in-between those hours.  I am out of the house from 730 AM to 6 PM, so I need to maximize the three hours that I can spend with him on work days.  After Baby is asleep, I want to spend time with Hubby.  He’s not so high maintenance that I need to fully interact with him; however, we are each other’s sounding board, friend, co-debator, and we enjoy similar movies and CSI.  We just naturally want to talk to each other about life.

I don’t resent work and its stresses because I am the kind of person who needs the stimulation of work.  I will not be complete without this ability to contribute to society, without the potential to make a difference in the world, without the privilege to interact with a diverse array of nationalities and personalities and irrationalities.

We working mothers are mothers who work, and who can make things work.